Wondering, Wandering Light

Drifting away, as the ice you sit on breaks away. The currents shifting, the wind sets you a sail as you say goodbye to this place you called home. Deep, and far away, further away into the unknown. This steady north fades, the night is here, the stars are in place, but I still can’t piece them together. Why does every constellation go far above my imagination, why can’t this puzzle be solved?

Drifting into the storm, bound to fall under, only a miracle can keep me afloat unless I shift directions. I can go on ahead with the odds stacked against me, or I could just turn around and leave, only a light could provide a path to steer, only something supernatural could still the waters to prevent my demise.

Don’t want my heart to drown, don’t want my heart to harden cold like ice, don’t want to turn into the monster I feared in the night. Don’t want to watch my dreams leave, oh but I just wanted to see vision again, to let love in without opening myself up to break inside this storm.

I followed my heart, when I could never find it. Like a shadow it was cast, chasing my heart made me stumble into the darkness of the past, it lead to this pain. A hurting, a struggle, I’m too short sighted to look past these current waters surrounding, too young to know what’s best for you, and for me. Could this be the current that leads me to victory or misery?

I’m holding on tight to a fragile place, I’m going deeper into an abyss that haunts my dreams. What’s the point of risks if you could still lose everything after you win? What’s the point of dreams if they aren’t promises? What’s the point of stars if you can’t see them shine? What am I building on in life if I could die tomorrow? So here I am, drifting in the storm, will I follow my heart, will I take a second guess, a second guess that could turn into a second chance.

It’s in the dark, it’s throughout the night, it’s when I’ve fallen in the storm, it’s when I’ve already fallen under. When I wake up realizing this was a preventable disaster, a nightmare that could’ve been a sweet dream. It’s my wondering light, it’s the optimistic side of my heart. Our prodigious minds, these vast emotions, tells me there’s a writer to these creations. I tried to go through chapters acting like I was strong enough, but the darkness in our hearts told me otherwise. Deep inside, that wondering light won me over to a world of truth, love, and hope.



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