Lost Decembers

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Growing up, her childhood without her parents in her life. Years spent in an orphanage from the very beginning. Year after year, without being adopted. Year after year without having a friendship. Year after year without companionship. At 18, out of the orphanage on her own. A whole childhood where she never met her parents. Love is miles and miles away from this empty desert land.

As the years go by, these questions emerge. Can love come around, or is time pulling away? Can my voice be heard? Is there a fire that can warm this cold heart? Tired and brought down through these sorrowful Decembers. This heavy heart seems too far out of the light to have hope. The pain and rejection defining the heart, writing out words of despair in her story.

She wonders if there’s a reason to live. As she picks up the pills questioning life. The feeling of no one wants me. The state where she feels like her life doesn’t better. Tired of fighting day after day. This ongoing battle that doesn’t seem to end. The light at the end of tunnel couldn’t be seen from here. Like a long lasting rain of doubt. Never knowing the truth, a Light, a Savior.

Where the window comes to view. Where her voice can be heard. Where her story can be seen. Hope is around the corner. Love is on it’s way. Companionship is here. Faith is in the next step. A message is being sent. Truth is being delivered. An of act kindness to save this fragile heart is one door knock away. Purpose is being spoken. Despite these cold years of sorrow, a warm light is coming to bring joy. All it took was one person to witness, one person to set reunion, one person to share the news that saved a life.

This story is written after Jessica, a character from ‘Christmas on the Other Side”. An evangelistic play that I wrote last year.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Out of the Dark

Circles

Talking in circles, walking in circles. These faults that lead him here, repeat and repeat. The boy that dreamed the impossible, was lost at sea. Wandering in a crowd he built. Relying on self image to carry him through life.

Still dreaming of the princess, but living as the thief. Taking what benefits himself in life, avoiding what can’t. Seeking treasure without giving. The role that the world shaped out for him. Portraying the counterfeit man, where pride takes the driver’s seat. Ignoring the crumbling ground beneath his feet. 

It’s too late, it’s too far gone. These mistakes that lead him here, has already molded out his future. How could he ever win trust back again? Once a thief, always a thief. Forgiveness can’t be won here. His heart was caught in the dark for too long.

But the lies that try to define him, can’t have victory here. These chains could no longer have a hold over him. There’s a prince in this heart, there’s a light that continues to shine. There’s a soldier, a bearer of light beneath this counterfeit armor that the world shaped out. 

These battles that lead him here, no matter how many were lost. The war still goes on. As he realized life isn’t a game, that it isn’t a movie. But a wonderful gift, a beautiful story that unfolds before eternity. These chapters were rough, but his story is far from over. 

This self ego, this self image, will profit him nothing in the end. He learned to care more about the people God placed around him in life. To care more about the future, the time spent now. The soldier that goes into prayer every morning, every night. A fire ignited within his heart, no matter how cold the embers got. He no longer let the past define him, for he was determined to be a soldier of Christ. These dreams He dreamed for him weren’t meant to be ignored. As he learned before you can become a soldier, you must first surrender to your King. The battles that came along were different this time. A long lost love revived.

“But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

1 John 1:7

A Different Love Story

Other Side

Over the next few days I will be posting more of these stories…

There stood a girl with dreams beyond the clouded skies, her world was a world of beautiful stars in a perfect painted sky. She had a love for the world that didn’t bother blinking an eye. Traded her love for a guy that caught her eyes, as her dreams became figments lost in time, forgotten and turned to demise.

Her love left her cold, broken hearted, as she fell into the lies. The lies of doubt that told her she didn’t deserve better. The false hope she clung onto quickly brought her underneath the clouds. Down to a place where dreaming is a far away feeling.

She changes her colors to blend within the crowd that she’s in, seeking admiration, searching for hope. But this hope she searches for her, was right beside her the whole time. But she let this doubt push it to the side, just as the world continued to do to her. Her life tangled, one loose thread after another. These cold and bitter weather patterns consuming her life, her heart struggling to breathe in life, striving for a smile out of these tear stained eyes.

But one day she found love, as love found her. This facade of love see pursued broke her heart, as she was taught love doesn’t break hearts, but can mend them. This love see searched for wasn’t in a man, but from heaven. This love that healed scars, warmed a cold abandoned heart. Because she was loved, she was cared for more than she could’ve ever known. She, a daughter of God, our true Father.

As she put her trust in Jesus, the love that died for her. This new road she walked, where she began to find true life. A love that lifted her above the clouds again, a world of beautiful stars. And she knew along the way, another love would join her. He would help her stay on this narrow road, to share His love with her, to be led by God to love her, cherish her, serve her. Her story written out, for Christ was her turning page in life. 

“He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
 He counts the number of the stars;
He calls them all by name.
Great is our Lord, and mighty in power;
His understanding is infinite.”

Psalm 147:3-5

Still Waters, Peace in God

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As you lie back and close your eyes. This distress, can you feel the whole weight of the world on your shoulders? It’s okay, it’s okay, it’ll be okay. This isn’t for you to carry on your own. These things that try to bring you down, these things that try to weigh you down, and make you weary. This empty space that tries to make room in your heart, but may you let God’s love fill your heart. Your heart such a special beauty. The overwhelming light it holds, if only you believe. Great things that lie ahead.

You worry about tomorrow, but I promise you He already knows all of your tomorrows. A wonderful story written out for you. If only you let Him, if only you let the greatest author have your pen. Know he chose you for a reason. Creator of the universe, who calmed the seas, who painted the skies, who formed the ground you walk on, who knows all of His creation. How powerful our God truly is, who knows our beginnings and endings. Why trust our ways?

You may see your definition by scars, but He sees healing within your reach no matter how far. Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid, this darkness you’ve lived in can be written over by light beyond belief. You aren’t forgotten, but you are heard. This heart that’s been aching, will be restored. Scattered stars you’ve worried over, but He can connect the dots. Put your trust in Him, and I promise you God will keep you safe. As joy covers sorrow. As peace covers worrisome. As faith triumphs fear. As His love conquers all.

“and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:7

God’s Lovely Creation

Autumn dawn

Look out tonight, see these painted stars? This is your map of light. Reminding that light shines even when you can’t see it. Even on a cloudy night too cloudy to see stars, the reflection of light remains.

Wake up to a sunrise, see the beauty after darkness? The pink sky mixed from red, the red blood He shed for us, the love He showed. From yellow, like golden treasures that lie ahead. For our tomorrows hold better days than what we reminisce about our yesterday.

To sunset, a reminder that beauty lies ahead tomorrow. That we’ll wake up to another sunrise, to sunset. For every star in the sky, He knows by name. Just as He knows every person by name, for their every hair on their head, their every thought, their every prayer.

The green grassy fields surrounding us. The green trees in sight. What represents life in front of us. That God is always by our side, why would we want to walk anywhere without Him. Without Him as our compass directing us to true life?

The snow that comes in the winter, a white blanket covering the ground we walk on. As our sins washed white as snow, demonstrating the beauty and power of our Creator. Through the fragrances of Spring, a rain washing away the bitter stains. Through the life that goes on in Summer, through the changing colors of Autumn, the beauty in colors that change before they fall. That beauty and the works we do isn’t limited to our youth.

To the oceans, showing God is in control. A still water in a raging sea, that only He can bring.

The more I observe God’s creation, the more beauty in life I see. The more I see how powerful and awesome His creation is. The proof He exists is right before our eyes from the moment we wake up.

“To Him who made great lights,
For His mercy endures forever—
The sun to rule by day,
For His mercy endures forever;
The moon and stars to rule by night,
For His mercy endures forever.”

Psalm 136:7-9

Cursive Lights

Let the love that changed you, be the love that you portray in life. Let it be the love you show to the world, be the living proof. For my candle was barely lit, until it gained a spark. From embers, to fire. My fire became lit. The same fire shall be the fire that lights the dark and cold souls in the world. Only His love can help the hearts that the world left in the cold lifeless streets.

From ember to fire, my fire became lit. Christ saved me from the crumbling world I constructed. The love that lit my candle, shall be the same love I show to the world to light other hearts. For the candles dark and cold, to the ones barely lit.

The love that burns within you wasn’t meant to be stored away to yourself. The truth you found wasn’t meant to be kept on a bookshelf. As books collect dust, we tend to do the same. Our dust settles. We tend to stay lukewarm, even to the point where we get cold again.

But there is nothing lukewarm, there is nothing cold about our Savior. Let His light bring warmth and comfort to our lives. Let the passion burn for Him, so that we may be flames for Christ. We certainly could never be saved by good works. But we can show the world that there’s something different about people who have Christ in their life. Who know the truth, who spend time with their Savior, who give their life to Him. That we are in the world, not of it. That we are in the light, not the darkness.

Let our stories touch lives. May our words be cursive lights that shine out to the lost and in between. Let us not be known just by the words we speak, but by the actions we live. By the love we live. By setting Christ as our cornerstone in life.

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15

Finding Rest

ocean

Pieces out, pieces away. The start of the mountains, the walls surrounding my view. Freezing gusts of cold wind sending shivers down my spine. My vision black and white. Finding a new hope in life, only to let go again. Joy is a foreign word, a feeling I couldn’t even dream of. The strong presence of loneliness consuming my life. An obscure, distorted feeling. I try to let go, but there’s still a piece of my heart that’s still holding on. Letting go, words easier said than done. Feeling like a castaway, rejected and all alone.

Who I am, what made me at the start. Something heal this broken heart. Take me away from this place, I’m too weary to walk. Take me to a place where I can love again, where I can feel joy. Where I can believe again. Where I can see vividly again. Everything seems gone, yet something keeps me waiting.

To the lost, to the broken, to the in-between, you’re not alone. You have a true Father, a heavenly Father, who knows your every thought, knows your every dream, who knew you before the start. Who has a love that conquers all things. That makes all things anew. You may see yourself in damaged goods, in ways you could, but He sees you as His creation, He sees a new beginning. He sees His child, He knows your purpose. He will never walk away, He will never abandon you, and He longs to see you come home. The path is broken, but Christ can repair it.

Lost, but not forgotten. You have a calling. You have a purpose. He died for you, so that you may live. You are not defined by your mistakes, for nothing could win over His grace, His love, His mercy. Grace is never even.

Though your eyes may need some time to adjust, to this wondrous light from above. Something that time cannot erase. Something that can’t let you down. Surely, who can stand on their own? In Christ, we find shelter, in His name, we find rest. In Him, do we finally feel joy, as our sorrows disappear. 

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:10